LX Forums Forum banner
1 - 18 of 18 Posts

·
E skeud teñval tourioù gell
Joined
·
3,450 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
or whatever the count is up to...

"Children, tomorrow I would like you to give me an example of a development that is currently being built near your home and what are the advantages of this new development” says the teacher.

At the end of the class, the teacher asks that all the little girls remain behind for 5 minutes. Teacher: "Young ladies, I have received numerous complaints from your parents concerning Little Johnny's' crude remarks. It is very likely that tomorrow he is going to say something dirty and that is why I am asking you all, to avoid any further problems - that if he says anything that appears rude, I would like you all to get up and leave the classroom." Everybody agrees to this plan.

The next day in class the teacher begins: "Is everybody ready with their assignment? Go ahead Anita." "Near my home a supermarket is being built. Now my mummy doesn't have to walk so far to get bread and milk." Teacher: "Very good Anita! Suzie – you’re next"

Suzie: "Near my home, they are building a furniture factory. My daddy is a carpenter and this permits him to work near home." Teacher: "Excellent, thank you Suzie!"

At this point, little Johnny's hand shoots up and the teacher asks: "Oh heavens, Johnny tell me what new development is being built near your home." Little Johnny: "Near my home, they are building a brothel." As planned, all the young ladies get up and proceed to leave. Little Johnny says, "Hey relax girls, they aren't hiring yet!"
 

·
I'm not speeding......I'm qualifying
Joined
·
5,266 Posts
Lol.
 

·
First AWD LX in the 12's N/A
Joined
·
8,067 Posts
During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners,asked her students the following question:


"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"


Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."


The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.


What about you Peter, how would you say it?" Peter said, "I am sorry,
but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."


"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom
at the dinner table.


And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show Usyour good manners?"


I would say: "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to
shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get tomeet after dinner."
 

·
First AWD LX in the 12's N/A
Joined
·
8,067 Posts
One day Little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could buy him a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Little Johnny's father said, "Johnny, we have a $80,000 mortgage on the house, and you want me to buy you a bicycle?
Wait until Christmas!" Christmas came around, and Little Johnny asked again.
The father said, "Well, the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry kiddo. Ask me again some other time."
Well, about 2 days later, the boy was seen walking out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase.
The father felt sorry for him, and asked him why he was leaving.
Little Johnny said, "Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you say that you were 'pulling out,' and mommy said that 'you should wait because she was coming, too....'
"And I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna stuck with your $80,000 mortgage!"
 

·
First AWD LX in the 12's N/A
Joined
·
8,067 Posts
Johnny's parents were out of town once and so they asked that young
female teacher to stay for that time in their house. Before going to bed Johnny
Says to her "Oh, please, I'm so afraid to be by myself, please, sleep in my
bed." She agrees, they go to bed. In the morning she wakes up to find a
big hairy-chested man in her bed. She exclaims: "Johnny? Where is
Johnny?" "Johnny? Who is Johnny? Is that the little boy selling the tickets?"
 

·
First AWD LX in the 12's N/A
Joined
·
8,067 Posts
One day little johnny was sitting in his house when the door knocked

he ran to open it with a bottle whiskey in one hand and a cigar in the other

thae sales person at the door said is your parents home

little johnny said [what the @#$% you think}
 

·
First AWD LX in the 12's N/A
Joined
·
8,067 Posts
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a
question..
"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence
and you shot one with your gun, how many would be
left?"
"None.", replied Johnny. "'cause the rest would fly
away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I
like the way you are thinking."

Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now.
If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a
shop,one licking her cone, the second biting her cone,
and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married ?
Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one
sucking the cone?"
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding
ring on her finger. But I like the way you are
thinking..
 

·
First AWD LX in the 12's N/A
Joined
·
8,067 Posts
Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by
the school playground and go into the woods.
Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy
and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.
Little Johnny found this so exciting that he
could not contain himself as he ran home
and started to tell his mother.

"Mommy, I was at the playground and I
saw Daddy's car go into the woods with
Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he
was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss,
then he helped her take off her shirt.
Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his
pants off, then Aunt Jane........"
At this point Mommy cut him off and
said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting
story, suppose you save the rest of it for

supper time. I want to see the look
on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."

At the dinner table, Mommy asked little
Johnny to tell his story.
Johnny started his story about the car
going into the woods, the undressing,
Aunt Jane laying down on the back seat.
Then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing
the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill
used to do when Daddy was in the Army."

Moral Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt.
 

·
First AWD LX in the 12's N/A
Joined
·
8,067 Posts
Gotta love Little Johnny jokes
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
12,281 Posts
Lol nice resurrection
 
1 - 18 of 18 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top