December 2005 LXOM: Rev.Hammer

**DMAG** · 12-03-2005, 03:04 PM

written by Rev.Hammer

I had a sweet gig going when I was a bit younger down in the swamps of South Georgia. Had this cozy place all to my self. Water, heat, air, you name it; right down to the food was all gratis. And LORDY, was I LAZY! I wouldna hit a lick at a snake if he’d been a shoelace! I didn’t move unless I had to, which I tried to keep to a minimum. How slick is that, eh? Schweet deal rocks on for almost a year and all of a sudden all crap breaks loose!!

I am getting evicted at 0520 in freakin’ A of M!! And it RAINING TOO!

MAN!! Totally ticked me off too!! I made quite a stink about it for quite some time.

That was back in Nov of ’66.

And things have been interesting ever since.

I was born into one of those archetypical tiny nowhere towns that lingers at the brink of extinction seemingly forever, rife with fussing old women, creaking front porches and rusting old men.

One old man in particular was my Granddad. Kager Slaughter was the formative kernel of who and what I am today. I used to watch him work on his old Plymouths, Dodges, and other MoPars. Soon, I was working with him. Seemingly just a short eternity longer, as his vital force began fade, I was working for him. He would point and say and I would do. Happy as a child in sunshine just to be near him. . My grandfather lives through my eyes and hands and in my very heart. The love of MoPar came early to me and it became family.

I am a 39 year-old pudgy white man, married to the Queen of the Universe (insert dramatic music here) and the proud new daddy of a 4000lb baby named Val! I work in Huntsville Alabama (not for long) for the largest medical testing corporation in America as a computer/software support analyst. I found LXForums a while back and my life has not been the same since! I had been on a LOT of forums in my time. I always wound up leaving in about 2-3 months because I got so tired of all the butt biting and nitpicking that they seem to degrade into. THIS one is a unique organism. I said organism because we function as a cohesive whole. This is a COMMUNITY, a place of family and friends in every sense of the word. And I am proud to be here. I can truly say that this place has changed my life for the better!

MoPar and LXForums is friends and like an extended family in my life.

I grew up loving MoPars and have had the privilege and proud aggravation of owning:

1967 Fury III
1967 Fury II
1965 Satellite
1971 Dodge truck that I still miss
1982 Dodge truck
1969 Imperial
1971 Valiant
1980 Dodge Diplomat
1966 Coronet

The greater majority of us here have family and in-laws that we love and those that we wished would get lost on the way to our homes. I, too, have had a few cars down through NOT MoPars:

1982 Chevette (hell it was only 200.00 and I sold it for 700!)
1980 Mercury Grand Marquis (used to call it the Burgundy Beast)
1989 Nissan 200zx (a fun car…felt more skateboardy than my Focus!)
2003 Ford Focus
2001 Hyundai Sante Fe (NEVER AGAIN HYUNDAI!!!!)

Here is where I make a confession. I love MoPar but I had grown disgusted with their new car offerings and the skyrocketing price of the older cars combined with the tag-team usury of after market parts. MoPar had lost one of its most ardent disciples. There had been nothing to love for some time. I felt abandoned and forgotten. So, I started looking around. I was trying different things.

So… I drifted….into…Ford..

I went out and bought a Ford Focus with the original idea of making it a cool car. Face it y’all, no matter how much hooch you drink..if your dates ugly when you start, it’s gonna be WAAAAYYY uglier in the morning!! And the Focus turned out to be my drunken Janet Reno in a thong.

I was just fooling around in the net trying to find a forum for Ford Foci (I think that’s right) and found this place. I was looking through it and then I saw the concept Magnum and thought….Daaannng, that’s nice… Feh… they will never build it. Then I saw that they WERE and I like to have lost my little bitty squirrel powered mind!!

I was in love! Then I saw the Charger and I was in LUST! I came for the car.. and stayed for the people. I can say that this place has changed my life and me forever!

I am an only child and have been married once (I think got it right the first time).

I have had a pretty fun life so far and I have done many things and have had many jobs. This is a sample:

Mechanic
Slaughterhouse killer
Carpentry framer
Electronic Alarm and Fire system installer
Sound setup and on site production for events
Top Secret Clearance Security Officer
Emissions tester
Salesman
Busboy
Deliveryman
Driver
Goon
Animal Catcher and Exterminator
Goatherd
Welder
Military Research Modeler
Writer
Equipment Handler
Fabricator
Home Theater Designer and Installer
Farm worker
Computer Support and Software analyst
Electrician
Demolitions
Logger

And others…this is just the fun stuff. I decided that now I am married I need to choose a direction and stay on it.. I have gained a lot of great stories and life experiences at the expense of a continuously developed income. Wouldn’t trade what I have seen and experienced for nothing! I have seen a great cross section of America and lived a good chunk of life’s Grand Pageant!

I have many interests and some are a smidge strange compared the main stream. I enjoy reading a lot where I get the chance. I read everything… and I mean EVERYTING. The last 10 books I read were:

Stiff by Mary Roach
MoPar: 50 years of hot cars
Smoke and Mirrors by Neil Gaiman
Telephony and VoIP Technology today
Illustrated Demonology and Witch Craft (1915 edition, proud to find that one)
Egyptian Mythology
LX Service Manual
Charger owner’s manual
The Secrets of the Vatican Library
Werewolves; A modern proof (more psychological than anything)

You get the drift. I am also a paranormal researcher, writer (haven’t in a while…need to change that too). Gun enthusiast, walking as quietly as I can through the woods and watching animals, Very Near Libertarian, ersatz inventor, and Most of all REBORN MOPAR NUT!

Lastly… I want to thank all of your for your kindness!! I could not have done it without you!! Such greatness of friends and such a wonderful gift is truly rare. I count myself blessed because of you!

Enough about me! This place isn’t about me; it is about the community and the cars!

This year of my life has been the BEST ever!! GOD BLESS YOU ALL!

**DMAG** · 12-03-2005, 03:12 PM

Congrats Scott! The first ever "official" LXForums.com LX!

The pace car for a website....

**Token** · 12-03-2005, 03:17 PM

What do you know my guy won!!!!!!
Very nice Scott, and congrats. Can't think of a more deserving LXOM.

OK GROUP HUG......

**BUTWEET** · 12-03-2005, 03:37 PM

Holy shamoly, Scott! What a wonderful book......... erh, ugh.......I mean write-up. You have led a very interesting and meaningful life. I'm proud to call you my friend. Congrats on your LXOM victory.

**Hazman** · 12-03-2005, 03:38 PM

Congrats to the Hammer Man

Himmy · 12-03-2005, 04:14 PM

Scott, your the best, you've always worked hard and have been a great friend to myself and everyone. Nobody deserves it more than you. Enjoy it all as I know you will.

Don't ever change, my friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**bipto** · 12-03-2005, 04:25 PM

Wow - I'm speechless (and that's rare for me)...

A month ago I was truly humbled as I accepted the LXOM crown from done, one of this community's most respected members. Now I'm passing it to another LX forums icon, the good Rev.Hammer! You two make me feel as if I was just "keeping it warm" between deserving recipients! :lol:

Scott, the knowledge, kindness, spirit, and humor that you bring to this community is unparalleled. Your words have been instrumental in shaping this place in to what it is today. I dare say that I can speak for just about every member when I tell you that there is no one here more deserving of this award than you, and it's been a long time coming.

Congratulations my friend!

-- Bill (bipto) Berry

**BrilliantBlackHemi** · 12-03-2005, 04:30 PM

Awesome writeup. Great man, Great car.

I like that: Pace Car for a website. Very nice.

**Meister** · 12-03-2005, 04:32 PM

Heartfelt congratulations, Scott!

We're real happy to see you become the latest LXOM - you're following in great footsteps in that regard as you continue to lead in others.