FIAT Press Release - The Charger Survives!

**SDChargerSRT** · 05-01-2009, 06:17 PM

Breaking news from the White House.

Delivering on their promise of a quick turnaround from bankruptcy for the "New Chrysler", the White House Secretary of Automobile Design announced moments ago that the first model will be the Fiat Charger. It will be available only in the SRT model, which now stands for Slow Recreational Touring. Instead of the hideous 6.1L seal killing engine no one wanted, it will now feature a new 1.6L 3 cylinder diesel. Delivering on the promise of reduced costs, the existing 6.1L emblems will be used, applied in the new order.

Tire pressure will be standard at 400 PSI to further increase gas mileage, and each car will have a hack-proof TPMS with realtime satellite uplink to ensure driver compliance. If your pressure drops below the set threshold, your car will drive itself to the nearest branch of the US Tire Pressure Enforcement Agency to be corrected.

Each time the driver presses the accelerator pedal, a request to increase speed will be sent electronically to a national database. If there are acceleration credits available for your region, and you have not exceeded your monthly allotment, your request will be granted, and in less than 2 minutes you will be accelerating at a brisk pace anyone on a bicycle will be jealous of.

Pricing will be straightforward just like the tax code. Single drivers traveling alone will pay more than married drivers traveling jointly, unless they own two cars, then they will pay the single rate. Households with incomes below $25K will receive free cars due to the recently passed Earned Driving Credit. Households earning more than $25K per year will pay $10,000 for each $50K in income, up to a maximum price of $150,000.

**liquidice281** · 05-01-2009, 06:21 PM

Not funny. I spilled my coffee.

**Todd 06R/T R&T** · 05-01-2009, 06:23 PM

Thats the funniest thing I've ready all day

I think I know a few people who will want that car

**Junior** · 05-01-2009, 06:28 PM

I tend to disagree with the doomsdayers on this one, but Lordy, that made me laugh.

**Todd 06R/T R&T** · 05-01-2009, 06:29 PM

Originally Posted by Junior

I tend to disagree with the doomsdayers on this one, but Lordy, that made me laugh.

I agree with your disagreement. I think the LX platform will survive this mess.

**Trojan** · 05-01-2009, 06:30 PM

Its probably gonna happen! Right on O!

**srt-hardware** · 05-01-2009, 06:30 PM

Bravo!!!

You have wasted many minutes not using gas.

That was fun to read.

**crazyjay** · 05-01-2009, 06:35 PM

ha-ha, that was great!
the scariest part is that, that is actually a pretty cool looking little puddle jumper he created!
love the srt rims!
does it come in black and when do the mods start rolling out?

**SDChargerSRT** · 05-01-2009, 06:46 PM

Originally Posted by crazyjay

ha-ha, that was great!
the scariest part is that, that is actually a pretty cool looking little puddle jumper he created!
love the srt rims!
does it come in black and when do the mods start rolling out?

Of course it will not be available in black. Black cars take more energy to cool, they are already being outlawed in CA. White or green will be the only colors available.

Modifications will not be allowed, unless you want to convert it to electric or pedal power.

**ChargerZ** · 05-01-2009, 08:41 PM

When I opened the post and saw the picture before reading I was like What the F....!!! then I realized it was a joke.... but for a few seconds I thought it was true and that the new Charger was going to be a downsized FWD euro design....