WOOT!
Got 'em.
Well, I don't know what I did differently, but the clockspring wasn't right - I rotated it with the engine running and I could hear some noise, like wires slapping on something. Not loud, but definitely there.
I pulled it off, put a piece of blue painter's tape on the receiving end of the 14-pin connector, and stuck the clockspring back on there to make sure that the pins were piercing it. They were.
I went further than I needed to, and separated the clockspring from the SCM? like jaak showed in his write-up. Didn't see anything there and I didn't wanna monkey around too much with stuff I didn't understand, so I put it back together.
When I reassembled it, it seemed to fit on there really nicely, and when I set the steering wheel on there, it engaged solidly. THIS IS IMPORTANT: When I had assembled it the three times previously, the steering wheel did not feel like it was solidly engaged to the column until after I tightened the bolt. So if you're doing this, and you get to that point - STOP. It's not right.
Once it was right, though, and the steering wheel engaged the shaft properly, I started it up without even tightening the wheel, and they work great! So I came right in to post this, and now I'm off to button her up.
Thanks for the help, T-bird.
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