Need some Advice on my relationship....im in trouble

[Tank]

Sorry to vent buy i need someone to talk to and you guys have been good to me so i'll start here!



Ok well...im 17 years old me and my girlfriend celebrated our 2 year anv on nov 14th, we've been happier i guess you could say, its like we arnt compatible anymore and i lover her so much it'd kill me to lose her. i mean when we "talk" on the phone 90% of it is our breathing no one talks because we dont have anything to say to eachother anymore, before e couldnt stop talking, wev tried all the basic things to try and fix it, none of it work, we dont go out anymore either, and we hardly spend time with eachother othere than school and even then we get a WHOLE HOUR lol...idk guys, im hurting right now and i dont know what to do, my friend told me once " if you love her as much as you say you do, you love her enough to let her go ", and i REALLY dont wanna do that, and what makes it worse is because of our absence of affetion on EVBERYTHING, iv met another girl at work that seems me and her are geting close, and i dont want my current relationship to end because i cheated on her, but now iv got feelings for 2 girls and i dont know what to do..HELP ANY opinions or advice would help...i just dont know what to do, im just afraid of losing my current girlfreind because i have feelings for another girl, but it dosnt make sence anymore because all we do is fight, we talk more when fighting then we do actually talking in the first place, sometimes i catch ourselves fighting just so we have something to talk about...im so confused







:(

[MAGNUM8R]

Tough call man, personally I would go for the variety as it sounds as if you current situation has gone worse than stale.

Just tell her flat out that this isn't any fun anymore and you are making some changes?

I aint no Dr. Ruth, but considering your age, I would "play the field" a bit.

[JarZ]

This is tough. I'd also say that considering your age, there is plenty to find out about yourself at this point as well. If it isn't working now, it probably won't in the future. Your relationship gets aplified the longer you're in it, imo. If it's bad, it's likely to get worse. Sit her down and talk to her openly about your concerns (not communicating properly etc) and take it from there. It's much easier said than done, but maybe it's time to move on. You're young, don't have kids and are not married. People in your situation with those commitments face a much tougher decision. Best of luck whatever you do, Tank.

[FOHN_JARGO]

I think that most people are afraid of change. You started dating her when you were 15, right?

There is a good chance she feels the same as you. Someone just needs to say it. You will be fine. This could be a good talk to have instead of a fight to have.

Good luck Tank.

Let us know how it goes.

John

[Ghost013]

Sounds like you both may have interests in other people. I would have an open conversation with her explaing what you just explained to us(-the other girl of course). See where that conversation takes you then decide what the best course of action should be.
Good luck to you!!

[thewagon]

Dude,

You're 17 and have a girlfriend? Think about it. You have ALL THE GIRLS at your disposal, NEVER limit yourself to one at your age.
IMO, drop the first one and play with the second one and third and fourth and...

You MUST start paying attention:
http://www.blowmeuptom.com/

[bklynmag]

My two cents:

At 17, you are still growing emotionally and have much left to figure out about yourself (same for your current GF). Meet people, date and enjoy the ride. You have plenty of time to get serious and now ain't the time!!! Play ball!!

[Motor]

Dude,

You're 17 and have a girlfriend? Think about it. You have ALL THE GIRLS at your disposal, NEVER limit yourself to one at your age.
IMO, drop the first one and play with the second one and third and fourth and...

You MUST start paying attention:
http://www.blowmeuptom.com/

amen!!

bang away

[miplank]

Bang em' all.....When you get caught...Move on to some more and bang them too...



Your too young to be serious...2 yrs w/this chick? are you kidding me? Your wasting precious time!!! Your not going to be able to bang highschool chicks ever again in a year or so and then your going to wish you did....



Well.....You can, but then you'll be like Motor and that's a whole different issue

[plcman]

Break up, move on, your just 17!!

There will be more trust me!! Don't tie yourself down to just one girl, I wish I was 17 again, I know what I would do.

[Super T]

Toss in the towel. I didn't' want to hear it from anybody at 17 (8 years ago), or even just a year ago when my girl of 5 years that I was gearing up to propose to decided she could do better. Hell, I still think about that one. But here it is anyway, and it's true... you'll be happier without her. It doesn't have to be a "I wish you would die" breakup. I've been to two ex-girlfriend weddings in the past three years because we stayed good friends. But if the flame is out, just toss a little water on it for good measure and find another campsite. You're 17... there are sooooooooo many girls out there. My biggest regret is not having the balls to just "go for it" more often. Who knows who I could have ended up with! Don't sell yourself short. And I'm not saying go out and stuff anything that will let you within 5 feet. Enjoy yourself, but don't be a slut (yeah, that's right, guys can be sluts too, it's no different). But date some different girls, you'll be amazed and what you never knew you might find. When you find one that's special, hold on with all that you've got. But you gotta' know when to let go.

[Motor]

Bang em' all.....When you get caught...Move on to some more and bang them too...



Your too young to be serious...2 yrs w/this chick? are you kidding me? Your wasting precious time!!! Your not going to be able to bang highschool chicks ever again in a year or so and then your going to wish you did....



Well.....You can, but then you'll be like Motor and that's a whole different issue

yeah...if ur gonna be like me have some extra dough just in case "oops" happens...and then u're screwed


and thx plankduck!!!

[Motor]

Toss in the towel. I didn't' want to hear it from anybody at 17 (8 years ago), or even just a year ago when my girl of 5 years that I was gearing up to propose to decided she could do better. Hell, I still think about that one. But here it is anyway, and it's true... you'll be happier without her. It doesn't have to be a "I wish you would die" breakup. I've been to two ex-girlfriend weddings in the past three years because we stayed good friends. But if the flame is out, just toss a little water on it for good measure and find another campsite. You're 17... there are sooooooooo many girls out there. My biggest regret is not having the balls to just "go for it" more often. Who knows who I could have ended up with! Don't sell yourself short. And I'm not saying go out and stuff anything that will let you within 5 feet. Enjoy yourself, but don't be a slut (yeah, that's right, guys can be sluts too, it's no different). But date some different girls, you'll be amazed and what you never knew you might find. When you find one that's special, hold on with all that you've got. But you gotta' know when to let go.

you're right T....but i hope you're not gonna be like this when we work on the car...r ya???

[BuckeyeRT]

I think that most people are afraid of change. You started dating her when you were 15, right?

There is a good chance she feels the same as you. Someone just needs to say it. You will be fine. This could be a good talk to have instead of a fight to have.

Good luck Tank.

Let us know how it goes.

John

Great advice!

[CoolVanilla]

I'm not one to give advise on stuff like this; its just too hard to do. So I'll just give you my experience, as well as copy/paste...the friend that told you "if you love her as much as you say you do, you love her enough to let her go" is a wise friend.

I've gone thru exactly what you describe. Met at 16, at 18 we went thru what you describe, and ended up breaking up. The next year was a very hard year for me, but the truth is I grew more as a person in that year than any other time in my life. I "grew up". Turns out, so did she. At 20ish we went to work on being together again, 5 years later we married and have been so now for 6 years.

Its going to hurt, a lot. But if you two are right for each other, you need that pain in order to prepare you for the rest of your lives together; if you can get thru this, learn from it and grow as individuals first, learning to grow as a pair will be possible. I dunno why, it just seems to be the truth.

Oh and one more thing; make sure you take this time to reconnect with your family and friends. I realized that I had basically abandoned them while I was with her the first time around, and I sincerely apologized to each and every family member and friend for doing so. I was lucky; to a person they accepted me back and helped me with the growing I had to do.

YMMV.