This past week I was in Kingston New York, installing some laser projection equipment and moving a production line. I finally finished up friday morning after working a 70 hour 5 day work week. I guess I don't need to tell you that I was tired. A co worker was also at this plant training them on some improved production methods, so we were travelling together and we finally headed for the airport to fly back to Indiana.
We finally arrive at the airport after being sent on a wild goose chase by the Navigation system...It led us to the old Enterprise car rental return area which was miles from the airport. Needless to say... we missed our original flight (30 minute check in rule) and he was furious. I just said "hey man, it is what it is" which was true.
We finally get a new flight arranged and I call Tracy and explain that we are going to be a little late. No worries except I felt a "movement" coming on and was really hoping to get home in tiime to handle some business because I really hate airport restrooms...No such luck.
SO here I am stuck in a New York airport awaiting a flight that is 5 hours away, on stand by for another, absolutely exhausted with an unhappy friend and I have to poo. I tell him that I'll be back in a bit and drag myself to the restroom. This is when it gets interesting....
I go in and find a clean empty stall...I was the only one in there, sweet. After sitting there for a few moments someone rushes through down to the last stall and within 30 seconds they flush and are upand away. I think to myself "damn, that was some fast crappin, they must have a flight to catch'". A minute or so later it happens again but this guy is done and flushing in about a minute. Again, I think to myself "damn, theres some fast crappers here in New York". As I'm about to wrap things up myself, someone comes in and sits in the stall next to me and within seconds I here a courtesy flush sound off...nice. It was at that time I glance down at this guys shoes...they're green with a little rise in the heel. I was kinda confused by this so I take a second glance and notice that this guy has also painted his damn toe nails red...WTF. So half way through the thought of thinking "WTF, is this guy some kind of transvestite?" It hits me and inside I begin sreaming "OMG OMG OMFG!!!!" and yank my feet back under me and peer out through the crack of the door....on the counter is a floral purse. I realize that wht I thought was some fast poopin' was actually women peeing and I begin to scream louder within myself "I'M IN THE FU%(ING WOMENS RESTROOM F&^( F(*&(* f(*&(*&" It was bad enough that the foul that I had left in there would peel the paint off the walls but now I had to come out and face these women.
I began to plan my esacpe while keeping my hairy legs and Nike flip flops outta site. I waited until I heard nothing and made my break. As I exited the stall I shielded my eyes and walked FAST! On the way out I hear another stall door open behind me and 3 women walk in and another voice say "Is there a man in the womens restroom?" As I exit there is a group of men outside of the restroom that are waiting on their wives and one calls out "Dude, were you in the womens restroom?" and the whole group begins to bust out into a roaring laughter for what seemed to be several minutes. At this point I had to have been as red as the devil himself as I made my way back to my seat to await my flight. What a day
My mistake was that there were 2 womens restrooms right next to each other and I passed 1 assuming that the next was the mens. Like I said I was tired and it had been a very long day. On the bright side, we got our stand by flight...
I finally got to wipe in DC
Last edited by Dantra; 06-07-2009 at 12:54 PM.
hahaha sorry Dan but what a story!!!
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Dan, my wife and I are both crying here... this belongs in the TOTAL FAIL thread!
What a great story!
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That's great Dan!!!. LMAO!.
When Trojan and I were heading back from the Shindig a couple years ago, I did the exact same thing somewhere in New Mexico. But we'll save that story for another time. So don't feel to bad brother, it happens even to the lamest of us.......hahahahahaha.
From wild to extra wild we got you covered with crap ya never knew you needed.
The first 6.1 transformation and it all went down hill from there.
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LMAO.That is great!.What a crappy day..lol
I'm cryin readin this...! LOL
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Awesome, I love stories like this. Thanks for sharing and not holding back!
Ahhh...Forget to mention this part of the story. They had rushed us and bounced us around so much that our luggage didn't make it with us. They delivered to my house about 5pm the next day (yesterday)
I had a carry on but had to check it in because I had bought Dylan (our daughter) a nice but small New York snow globe. You would have thought that I hd tried to take a small packge of C4 through the check in and had to check my carry on because I wasn't going to toss it.
IN all it wasn't the best of days and I took everything in stride and reminded myself several times with same advice that I had passed to Mike...It is what it is.
BrianG designed a t-shirt just for Dan after hearing this story....
OMFG ROTFL... Erik and I are laughing so loud we're crying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for the laugh!!!!
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