Anyone else have to travel in their job?

[Displaced Hokie]

Kind of soul baring here, but I'm wondering how those of you that have to be gone for weeks at a time keep a happy home. I'm getting to the point in my career (product support) where my next promotion will set me up for occasional 1-2 week excursions. Right now I'm being asked to go away for 17 days as sort of a "test" to see how I (we) handle it. How do others do it without wrecking the family? I have a 2yr old and my wife is currently job hunting, so I worry about how they will handle it the most. I don't want to lay it all on her you know. All of our family is on the East coast, and they don't travel much, so it's hard to "go to Mom's house while you are gone".

Any tips or ideas on how to make it though these trips????

Thanks,
Hokie

[GasGunR]

My wife often works out of town. She is usually home every weekend though...

We are newlyweds, so we are still learning about each other, but so far it seems ok. We both bought into this knowing her job, and we are great friends and rely on each other for thing whether we are together or not.

It will be harder for you with the little one I am sure.

Good luck!

Don

[da BoMM]

Great question -- difficult answer.

It's pretty easy if you can break it up into small trips (2-3 days -- 2 nights max out) I did that for 6 years -- actually enjoyed it (after fearing I couldn't do it).

2 week trips is another matter -- I haven't done it, nor would I want to.

In the end we all do what we have to do. Best of luck sorting this out.

[DMAG]

I've been married 2 years as of tomorrow (Happy Anniversary hon!) I have to travel about 1 week out of every 6 weeks. My wife is 7 months pregnant so she does not like it much. But, the saying "parting makes the heart grow fonder" is absolutely true.

It's never fun to leave the ones you love, I hated it at first. But, it truly makes you appreciate them more too. I don't dread traveling as much as I used to. The first say is always rough, but 5 days goes really quick (I usually travel Mon-Fri) as work keeps me busy. I also get to see new places. Who would have thought I'd actually like Texas (just kidding Texas guys/gals!)

Good luck!

[HEMIwoman]

I must be honest...I was doing some traveling for my last job (only about 2-3 days at a time), and it was affecting my family life (my son was 3 years old at the time). My husband works long hours locally, and my son was eating dinner at a conference room table every night. I made the decision to demote myself (not within my company, with another company)...and devote a bit more time to my family. It has been a great decision..and I know I can get back into my career later on when traveling won't be as much of an issue.

Do what feels right for you and your family...that is what is important. If they are happy and you are happy....that is what matters.

[Eric300C]

Sorry to hear you are having to travel so much.
I don't usually have to travel for more then a week at a time, and my youngest is 10. So it's a little different around my house. With that said,
my only suggestion is to leverage the tools that you have at your disposal. I call my wife and my wife calls me often, we send each other intimate text messages through out the day to remind each other we care and that we are thinking about each other. During these times it helps to send an unexpected gift here and there. Flowers, or something special between the two of you. It doesn't have to be expensive, just something thoughtfull.

My .02

Eric

[ASU_Magnum]

I do 3 or 4 day trips every few months and thats about it. I don't really have any advice for you as I am only 21 and don't have to worry about a family. Good luck buddy and like what someone said up top, absence does make the heart grow fonder.

[pigpen]

I travel 50% but usually to citys every time, but we do some 2-3 over night trips. I have to admit I love traveling I am young and dumb so I don't mind traveling.

[Redfox0099]

As I sit here in a hotel room I am not sure if I want to laugh or cry. I work on the road Monday thru friday afternoon and then go home....to an empty house. My wife (for the last 5 months) has been deployed for close to 3 months and still 3 more to go....

It is hard and I miss her, I have had this job for almost 2 years doing leasing for an oil company and I never have been home during the week. If you are strong and try to communicate then you will get thru it. DO NOT make it a rule you have to talk every night, you will run out of things to say and then it gets frustrating and can cause issues.

PM me if you have any questions.

[Cam]

I spent 3-4 days a week, 2-3 weeks out of every month for several years with little units running around. I ain't got no advice. Sometimes ya do what you have to. And when you get to spend time with the family, make it great.

[MikeEast]

I spent years - decades really, running all over Upstate NY and the NorthEast, being gone totally unknown amounts of time. Sometimes a day trip, othertimes that day trip turned into 10 days or more on the road.

Cost me my marriage in the end..(well ok, that was part of it..)

Knowing now what I didn't know then, what with that hindsight = 20.20 thing and all - the best advice is communication. Short and Sweet, talking, flirting and not at any set time either. Got internet? Webcams can help too.

When I was in the Navy, I was gone up to a year at a time (6 month cruises my a$$) and that was before the comm stuff and the internet that made it a lot easier these days. Letters took 7-10 days and I tried really hard to keep one 'in flight' all the time.

Big picture time - is it worth the cost in the end?

Mike

[Husker]

I am an engineer and I USED to travel about 280k miles a year in planes..After 9/11 I stopped and took a different job so I wouln't have to travel. It was bad enough for me, it was killing the wife and kids.
Now I travel to St. Louis every other week for 4 hours.. I can live with that.

[moparman53]

Since I retired from the Navy in '98, I've been out of state exactly once. For 8 days. I sort of miss traveling.

[Displaced Hokie]

Thanks everyone. At least I'm not alone in my feelings that it sucks to have to do this. I love the company I work for, but we've got Boomers in the higher positions that always put their jobs before their family. From what I've seen, the Gen X (and Y) folks know what that did to the families they grew up in and we won't do it. Eventually the Boomers will retire soon and things will change.

I know that's a broad statement, but it seems to be true in my company at least. But right now, this culture is hard to live within. It's sort of like "we did our time in the hole, now it's your turn". It's a down side of the corporate world for sure.

All of this is making me feel better, so thanks!

Hokie

[HEMIwoman]

You make a very good point that this is a corporate culture issue....I know that the other people in my position when I was traveling either were young with no kids/not married, or had grown children and hubby/wife didn't mind the traveling.

I agree that times will eventually change...I want to be home with my family, at least while my little one IS little...when he is older, and not wanting to hang out with Mom as much...then I can get back into traveling if I so desire.

Like everyone said...sit down with your family and have a long, hard conversation, no holds barred, and be sure your family is happy with whatever decision you make. That is what we did, and it led to me stepping down...I am not saying that is what will happen in your case, but I know I did the right thing for my family and put them ahead of my career for the first time, and it felt good. Not easy by any means, but any employer in the future that does not respect that I put my family first during this part of my career is an employer I don't need to be working for. Family comes first.