Chuck Norris Drives a Magnum... I Think...

**TATTOOD** · 04-23-2006, 01:13 AM

I know these have nothing to do with magnums, but tey are tooo funny.. especially the last one.. it's my favorite!!!!

1. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

2. When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

3. Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

4. A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer.

5. In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

6. Saddam Hussein was not found hiding in a "hole." Saddam was roundhouse-kicked in the head by Chuck Norris in Kansas, which sent him through the earth, stopping just short of the surface of Iraq.

**BUTWEET** · 04-23-2006, 01:14 AM

Chuck Norris is a Pussy!

**iamkungfool** · 04-23-2006, 01:42 AM

Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse; horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is such a bada$$ he lost his virginity before his father.

Btw: When did Chuck Norris become popular again (??for the first time??)

**LowGo** · 04-23-2006, 01:57 AM

What's all this facination with Chuck Norris. Didn't he die out years ago???

**BUTWEET** · 04-23-2006, 02:03 AM

Originally Posted by MyMaggieMae

What's all this facination with Chuck Norris. Didn't he die out years ago???

If it wasn't for Christy Brinkley and their excercise machine, he would of!

**BrilliantBlackHemi** · 04-23-2006, 02:28 AM

Ah Christie....she's still oh so hot! An infomercial I don't mind watching.

**createdbyone** · 04-23-2006, 02:32 AM

CBO words of wisdom"
"I honestly bealive that Chuck Norris started all of these chuck norris jokes."

**CVP33** · 04-23-2006, 02:37 AM

I love those Chuck Norris, Vin Deisel and Mr. T jokes.

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.
Chuck Norris once shaved his beard and instead of a chin, he had another fist.

**Scorpx** · 04-23-2006, 02:47 AM

I respect Chuck Norris as an American pioneer of Martial Arts, oh and Black Belt Jones too! Oh yeah and I like, David Caradine, Sonny Chiba, Bruce Lee, Bolo Yeoung, and Sho Yesugi. I am a martial ars film geek, I hope Tatood was serious when he posted this or I look like a mega dork right now.

**iamkungfool** · 04-23-2006, 02:48 AM

i'm seeing a pchop coming for that one?

**TATTOOD** · 04-23-2006, 02:50 AM

Originally Posted by Scorpx

I respect Chuck Norris as an American pioneer of Martial Arts, oh and Black Belt Jones too! Oh yeah and I like, David Caradine, Sonny Chiba, Bruce Lee, Bolo Yeoung, and Sho Yesugi. I am a martial ars film geek, I hope Tatood was serious when he posted this or I look like a mega dork right now.

not at all SCROPX.... I am a Chuck Norris Fan!!!!