The "Funny-stuff" thread...

[Plum Krazy]

Thought this was funny...had to share.

[Thunder]

I have two reponses to that picture.

#1) You want fries with that shake?

#2) Thats one of those giraffapotomuses I've heard about.

[imahemi]

Lmao!!!!

[Plum Krazy]

Thunder, you must be very tired to have come up with those replys all by yourself...
LMAO!!!

[Thunder]

Well going on 28 hours straight. Either I'm in a really good mood or I'm so tired everything is funny to me. Just watched the Simpsons and about fell out of my chair. I got the hiccups and its making me laugh harder, hard to type to. Wife and kids laughing at me is not helping.

[Plum Krazy]

it's their job to laugh at you...

[Thunder]

Well I made it until about 9p.m. last night or 32 hours. We were watching Madagascar when the wife said I'd be more comfortable coming to bed. I thought "Oh boy!" I fell for her trick! I laid in bed for about 5 to 10 seconds and I was out. Felt good to finally get a good NIGHTs rest. Hopefully only three more weeks of night shift.

[Plum Krazy]

Things I learned living in Missouri.








1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.






2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Missouri





3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in Missouri,
plus a couple no one's seen before.

4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.







5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words.







6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!







7. 'Jaw-P?' means 'Did ya'll go to the bathroom?'







8. People actually grow and eat okra.







9. 'Fixinto' is one word.







10. There is no such thing as 'lunch'. There is only dinner and then there is supper.







11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two.







12. Backwards and forwards means 'I know everything about you.'







13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'







14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is,
you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.







15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.







16. 'No, Chew?' is a common response to the question
'Did you bring any beer?'







17. You measure distance in minutes.







18. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.







19. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
vegetable, grain, insect or animal.







20. You know what a 'DAWG' is.







21. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.







22. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and Ketchup.







23. The local papers cover national and international news on one page,
but require 6 pages for local high school sports and gossip.







24. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.







25. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm'.







26. You know all four seasons: almost summer, summer, still summer,
and Christmas.







27. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time know as 'goin' Wal-Martin'
or 'off to Wally World'.







28. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chicken
stew weather.







29. Fried catfish is the other white meat.







30. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive,
we can drive, dag-nabbit.






31. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Missouri friends
and those who just wish they were from Missouri

[Thunder]

Wow. Now what did I do?

[Plum Krazy]

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.. The husband
picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. 'What do you
think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24
cans,' he replies. 'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the
wife, and so they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face
cream and puts it in the basket. 'What do you think you're doing?'
asksthe husband. 'Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,'
repliesthe wife. Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of
Budweiser and its
half the price.'

On the PA system: 'Cleanup needed on aisle 25, we have a husband down'

[Kansas City_Charge]

Ha! Priceless lol

[Kansas City_Charge]

A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him.
'My name is Carmen,' she told him.
'That's a beautiful name,' he replied, 'Is it a family name?'
'No,' she replied. 'I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most
-- cars and men.'
'What's your name?' she asked.
He said, 'B. J. Titsengolf'

[Plum Krazy]

That's funny stuff right there...LOL

[Plum Krazy]

The Divorced Barbie Doll

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.

He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?'

The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95,
Shopping Barbie for $19.95,
Beach Barbie for $19.95,
Disco Barbie for $19.95,
Ballerina Barbie for $19.95,
Astronaut Barbie for $19.95,
Skater Barbie for $19.95, and
Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.

The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir.., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls

[Thunder]

Thats funny and sad all at the same time.