OFFICIAL RULES OF ENGAGEMENT for Tim Hortons.

[SXTLBS]

The following is the OFFICIAL RULES OF ENGAGEMENT for Tim Hortons.

Please feel free to pass them along so that we can make the world a better place to live.

1ST Offence – Too Many Lines

When you enter a Tim Hortons and see a line to one side of the restaurant that DOES NOT mean that you can start another line on the other side.

PENALTY: People guilty of this infraction must buy coffee for everyone in the original line.

2nd Offence – Delay of Game

If you cannot see the donut you want available in the display you CANNOT ask for it since the server will then go into the back and eventually return to tell you that - guess what - they don't have it!

PENALTY: People guilty of this infraction must return to the end of the line.



3rd Offence – Ordering Food in the Drive-Thru

The Drive-Thru is for ordering coffee and donuts ONLY. If you need to order a sandwich or soup get out of your car and go inside you lazy slob! It takes too long and they'll probably get your order wrong anyway, so save some greenhouse emissions and remember - NO ORDERING FOOD IN THE DRIVE-THRU!

PENALTY: OVER ORDERING. People guilty of this infraction will have their tires deflated on the spot.

4th Offence – Unnecessary Cleanliness

Cleaning the Hot Chocolate and Flavoured Coffee machines is FORBIDDEN during times of the days where there are actually customers in the store. What kind of business takes a product off-line in the middle of the day!?

PENALTY: Staff guilty of this infraction will be forced to eat hot, spicy food, then placed in restraints just out of reach of a nice cool glass of water for an hour.

5th Offence – Illegal Lid on the Crease

Placing the lids on the "to-go" cups so that the drink opening is in line with the crease in the cup is a crime against humanity. It essentially has the same effect as gag dribble cups. Plus, exactly how hard is it to miss that crease when placing the lid on anyway? Yet it seems to happen more than 50% of the time.

PENALTY: Staff guilty of this must floss with barbed wire for a week.

6th Offence - Interference

Franchise owners who open up a store with a Drive-Thru that can't handle at least 10 cars in line are a traffic menace. Caffeine addiction is a scary thing that will cause people to stop dead on busy streets just to keep a position in line at the Drive-Thru.

PENALTY: Owners guilty of this infraction will be forced to order their meals via the empty Wendy's Drive-Thru next door for a month.

7th Offence – Over “Two Minute Warning” Limit

Going on a coffee run to Tim's for five or more people is a non-starter. Firstly, you'll never remember what everyone ordered correctly. Secondly, you don't have a hope in hell of carrying that stuff back to your car. Lastly, it will take too long!!! That nice person behind you in line was under the impression that you were just going to order coffee and go. BUT NO, you have to take 5-10 minutes of our lives while you botch the order and then juggle the cups back to your vehicle. Get some backbone - force others to come with you. No more than two orders per person thank you!

PENALTY: People guilty of this infraction will be forced to drink ALL the coffee they have ordered and eat ALL the food.

NOTE: Pulling this same stunt at the Drive Thru is punishable by public flogging.

8th Offence – Ineligible Roller

During Roll-Up-The-Rim-To-Win time all cups left unattended and unrolled for more than one minute are free game to anyone else. Since we know all the really good prizes are meant for people in Ontario we've only got a limited shot at anything decent so watch your cups!

PENALTY: People guilty of this infraction must forfeit any prizes won past or present to the new roller.

9th Offence – Incomplete Recognition



Staff members who fail to recognize that you are a creature of habit and order the same thing everyday for a year at the same Tim Hortons and still meet you with blank stares and an indifferent "What can I get you?" are inflicting an inhumane mental torture. Isn't that what the commercials are all about? Where are the smiles and a hearty "The usual, Bob?"

PENALTY: Staff guilty of this infraction must be subjected to proof of identity and a strip search every time they try to pick up their pay cheque.

....and the final rule of engagement.

10th Offence – Illegal Coffee

Showing up at your son/daughter's hockey game with a coffee from another outlet other than Tim Hortons is VERBOTEN! What are you - some kind of trouble maker? Don't you know the way we do things around here?

PENALTY: People guilty of this infraction must clean the ice

with their tongues between periods.




Hopefully if all Canada buys into these rules we'll have a safer, more productive society

[BrilliantBlackHemi]

Nice. I've been to a Tim Horton's and in Ontario even. So I think I see the need for the rules.

You crazy cannucks up there with your Curling, Loonies, and Tim Horton coffee and donuts. :lol:

We wild-eyes southern boys in Virginia sure enjoy our Ham, Bacon, Pork Barbeque, Ribs, etc. Basically, we use everything in a pig but the squeel.

[BigBadMagnum99]

"MMMMMMM Timmy's doughnuts......mmmmmm Timmy's timbits Jelly filled and sprinkles.....ahhhhhhhhh Timmy's Coffee...French Vanilla" I love Timmy's wife and I looked at buying a franchise....but way to much for our family $750,000 to start or they will not even look at your application! However, if you can afford to get one....you will be Rich!

[gn300]

I've been doing robins latey no lines and "fresher", you know what i mean,donuts.
No lines means quicker back on the road!

[BlackCharger06]

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Canadaaaaaaaaaaa

[Electrofied]

I would kill for a Tim Hortons double double bout now with a box of Tim Bits.

Simone, go get me some. NOW!
E

[bigjim]

Mmmmm, Timbits. Now I'm gonna haveta volenteer for that need in Etobicoke next week.

[cadzilla74]

This thread is just so.....foreign!

Bad, Cadzilla! You must watch the diversity video 3 times!

[Jaak]

No, foreign is when you go somewhere else and they don't have Horton's!!! It's like going in to withdrawal, because nothing else will do!

Seen Wayne's World? Remember the donut shop? Stan Mikita's? Mike Myers is from Toronto, and Wayne's World is basically about his teenage years. Mike grew up about a mile away from me and a year apart.

Not bad for a Hockey Player who toasted himself in his sports car on the way back to Toronto from a game in Buffalo. The original Tim Bits...

[hemiwagn]

Tim Horton's trivia:

Tim Hortons store #1 was right behind my middle school.
My parents' neighbour has the very first countertop from that store installed as a bar in his rec room! (He was a very frequent customer and when he heard they were renovating that store way back when he scrounged the old countertop.)

You go into store #1 now (orig building was demoilished - store #1 just looks like any other store now) they have a display case with old menus, etc. in it. The used to have different prices for filled vs. non filled donuts.

My 68 camaro convertible was going to be used in some recent TV ads, but they decided on a mid 60's impala instead. (have not seen that commercial yet)

gotta go get a double-double now.....

[Magma]

Got a hankering for more Tims now!

Hell... I used my $30 worth of gift certificates in 3 days!... just wait for RUTRTW, and I'll be going bankrupt!

Adam

P.S. To hell with Starbucks!

[ChargerR/T]

7th Offence – Over “Two Minute Warning” Limit

Going on a coffee run to Tim's for five or more people is a non-starter. Firstly, you'll never remember what everyone ordered correctly. Secondly, you don't have a hope in hell of carrying that stuff back to your car. Lastly, it will take too long!!! That nice person behind you in line was under the impression that you were just going to order coffee and go. BUT NO, you have to take 5-10 minutes of our lives while you botch the order and then juggle the cups back to your vehicle. Get some backbone - force others to come with you. No more than two orders per person thank you!

PENALTY: People guilty of this infraction will be forced to drink ALL the coffee they have ordered and eat ALL the food.

NOTE: Pulling this same stunt at the Drive Thru is punishable by public flogging.



lol, guilty of this one all the time:neutral: On saterdays our order is for usually for 10-12 people.

[cadzilla74]

Trust me, I understand "Canada as a foreign country" after spending a night in jail there...lol. Long story and none of yer business. Young and stupid is all you need to know. Did make some new friends though, including the guy we nick-named Dillinger in the next cell who robbed a bank on foot and they caught him a block away sitting on the curb counting the money. This was in St. Johns, New Brunswick, circa 1978, those days are somewhat of a blur. TehKing, this is NOT political or aimed at denigrating our good neighbors to the North in any way. Put yer Abyss wand away. I like Canada.

[BrilliantBlackHemi]

Put yer Abyss wand away... he he

Just say "Take Off you Hosers!" :lol:

[wheelife]

Trust me, I understand "Canada as a foreign country" after spending a night in jail there...lol. Long story and none of yer business. Young and stupid is all you need to know. Did make some new friends though, including the guy we nick-named Dillinger in the next cell who robbed a bank on foot and they caught him a block away sitting on the curb counting the money. This was in St. Johns, New Brunswick, circa 1978, those days are somewhat of a blur. TehKing, this is NOT political or aimed at denigrating our good neighbors to the North in any way. Put yer Abyss wand away. I like Canada.

Have any of you seen the TV show " The trailer park boys" its filmed in Moncton New Brunswick, an hour away from Saint John, and I live between the 2 cities, what was I thinking when I moved here!!!.

Oh ya Dillinger got out a few years ago he lives beside me.

(FWIW people out here get real upset if you get Saint John New Brunswick and St. Johns Newfoundland mixed up its an east coast thing.